Changes

"You only knew you love her when you let her go... and you let her go..."

Ang lamig na pala talaga... mas dama ko lang siguro kasi na mimiss ko sya. I just saw her the other the day, and I can say in the way that she looks at me. Sobrang galit sya. Her last messages struck me. It hurts a lot kasi totoo. The mistake I made in undo able, and the aftermath is even worse. Yung lang yun sa lahat ng kamaliaan ko ang wini-wish ko na sana hindi ko ginawa. Ang tumulong sa isang kaibigan.    

Now that 2015 is fast approaching, I need to decide kung anu na gagawin ko. Im already 30 and I can feel na nauubusan na ko ng oras. Wala pa naman akong sakit pero mawalan na ko ng pagkakataon para magawa pa yung mga bagay na gusto kong gawin.

Sana lang maging blessing sa aking ang new year. Though ako pa rin naman yun kung positive nga or negative ang 2015. 

I'm a full pledge CDS na. I'll have my car and all the benefits na merun ang isang CDS sa company ko. Sa buhay na lang talaga ang dapat kong ayusin. Magaling lang ako pag sa problema ng ibang tao, katulad nyo rin.

I guess this is it, let's hope and pray for a better next year for the all of us.

Godspeed.  

Prayer

Dear God'

Kamusta pu? Its been a while since nung last txt q sau. Pasenxa ka n ha'ü Naka2ala2 lng aq pag ganito na sitwasyon. Gusto ko lng po malaman kung ka2yanin ko ito? Can you show me wat to do? Konting hint lang pü. Salamat po ha' Muah...

posted from Bloggeroid

Cross Road

Last February 2013, I was officially transfered as sales agent. Now, after four long months' I have to face my first PEF. My superior gave me templates to answer, he said, I should evaluate myself first, then we'll discuss it this coming thursday. As I fill up my PEF, I started to realize that I literally failed. I started collecting memories of what happened the fast few months, and build scenariors that might happen in the future. I also ask friend if they have any ideas what my PEF turnabouts. I was give hints that I might get transfer in Reg. 2 again sa marketing. 

Well, anyway! I can fit in to any given situation' I just wont let them get away. I did my very best as sales agent, no matter how diffucult the task given.

Reading

Pag wala akong magawa at may net ang phone ko... nagbabasa ako ng blog ni dianethexplorer, miss universe at teachers pwet. makikita mo dun kung anung mood nila at kung anu pinagkakaabalahan nila' dun din ako kumukuha ng inspirasyon sa pagsusal...

Tapos ko mag basa, upload naman ng mga pics sa tumblr' Recent post ko ung book na binili ko sa pavillion sa laguna. The Book Thief ang title, tunglok sya sa isan batang babae na nakapulot ng pocket diary at yun ng sepulturero' dun nag simula ang kwento nya at nandun pa lang ako sa part na un' nyahahaha! regalo ko sa sarili ko... tapos habang nag babasa, bukas sa phone ko ung dictionary pra pag malalim ying ingles... makikita ko ung meaning para mas maintindihan ko. hehehe'

Lowest State

Nadating talaga sa buhay ng tao yung lowest state... ung tipong subsob na sa lupa... tapos maytatadyak pa sayo habang ni try mu tumayo...

grabe sobrang hirap... lasing na ko pero di ko parin makalimutan... tulog na ko pero tumatangis parin ako... gang wala na ung tama ng alak... nag susulat nako ng blog na to pero umaagos padin ung luha...

yung naka attach na picture' gawa ko yun... ni try ko mag wala... pero kontrol padin... habang nag wawala ako, sabi ko sa kanila' dyan lang kau sa loob! akin tong place for just one night, for this moment only... pero tagalog... jejeje! punong puno na kasi ako... kailangan ko lang mag labas ng konti' kaso parang di pa sapat ung nailabas ko kasi umaagos pa din luha ko ngaun... wala naman ako masabihan' nahihirapan na ako mag blog kasi puro luha mata ko... hahaha! bakla!? di naman...

"men were ment to fly with clouds between their knees.."

for what ever that means' im only a man...

Good Lord! please send me an angel right now... I know I been bad... pero please send me a refuge...

ang sama sama ng loob ko ngaun... di ko na alam kung matatagalan ko pa pa... di ko naman kayang mag pakamatay... masakit yun ee... God please help me...

Life in mono

Here we go again, another week in the field' Feels like my life goes in a routine. Looking forward to my TF tour. Its one of my year plan. Hope to see old buddies on that trip.

Raining

Its exactly 4:10pm when we arrive at Lucena. Its raining and some part of the hotel begins to fill up with water. Im not staying in this hotel' Im just waitng for someone.

Hope the weather gets better this next few days, coz we'll be conducting some brand activation. I will be difficult if the weather wont favor our side.

Cold Water'

It's ok to do what you want... they say... as long as it makes you happy!!! That's an effin sayings...
On the other hand' its hard p do thing that's against your will...
After reading all those messages, I thougt Im ok... yet not!!!
Effin people tells you thing like a walkin dictionary of life experience... Feed you shits assuming that all of peoples life are in pattern.
I pretend to be happy in front of people and act like a clown giving them smile in their faces hoping to take aways a little of their sadness... not knowing that everytime I do that, Their woes adds up to mine...
What the f^@< am I saying...

Putang ina!!! habang sinussulat ko tong blog na to... may dumaan matandang babae at hinawakan ang etuts ko sabay sigaw ng "weeee!!!"

Effin town this is' Im in a town where I first set foot only yesterday. Oh yeah! its holiday and Im working far away from the comfortof my home...
I miss my bed, badly! I'll be going hone tonight. I think I'll ve home at around 9 pm. Repack my bag, head tothe airport at around 3:00 am to catch the flight to Palawan.
Yeah! that's right... More work!!! with no time to fix my ass... and plenty of time to think, reflect and ask my self how stupid I am.
My life is a mess. Stapled and covered with colorful wallpapers to fix it and make it look nice.
I think I'll commit suicide... I'll hang my self tonight or maybe bleed my self to death... yeah right!
I have no one to talk to... or maybe I distrust everyone... I don't know! Im kinda lost...
Because of not having someone to talk to' I think Im kinda sick. When I alone doing nothing or something, taking a bath, or day dreaming. I curse my self, say bad work or scream with no sound. It just happen' Losing my self with liquor or entering vietual reality thru DOTA is the best escape.
I always wonder what will happen when I die!? will the world be a little less miserable!? All I know that my mother will be very sad'
I do have mistakes in life but I will never regret it. For what I am today are the result of my actions.
Thanks blogspot' your like a comfort room... giving comfort and not talking'

Bucket List for 2012

Before 2012 started... I created a list of things i want to accomplish within the year within my mind. Well it's the 3rd quarter of the year and theirs a lot of changes in my life. Some of the items in my list might be accomplish and some may not.

Some of the things I want to accomplish is to have a good abs at lease, but as of the moment. I can't manage my drinking and eating habit especially when Im in the field. I also assumed that I be gettin married by November but it will be imposible for the year but in exchange, i'll be having my first born by September (so excited!).

In the fourth quarter of the year. I'll be able to do my dream tour. It will be in Ilocos and Banawe. The first is in process while the other is not that sure yet.

Im writting this that to remind me what for me to expect till the end of the year and also to write my bucket list for 2013 on new year day.

Everlasting

Everytime I work on field and stay at San Juan. I never fail to take a bite of this old one peso sized bread with coconut meat sweetened and placed in the middle. They called it everlasting, it was taken from a flower usually stitched like a necklace and hanged to a Sto. Niño. A must try for a food hunter.ü

Batangas

Activity #3

As I ws preparing to take a bath. A paper with a hand drawn woman and a young boy (probably a mother and child) took my attention. I read the writtings onthe top left and it says "activity #3". I think it's my nephews' assingment in one of his subject about personal development.

The paper work is about him and his mom. They've been separated when he was sent to Manila a copule of years ago where he will continue his studies.

He had written in his activity how much he misses his mom, thou they have chance talking over phone, still he was'nt able to tell her how much he loves her.

Its kinda good to know that children find outlet to express their inner thouts thru simple school activities. Putting their second parents, their teacher in posotion to give them proper guidance.

Certified

Becoming

"Tapos na ang paghihintay nandito ka na't
Oras ay naiinip magdahan-dahan
Sinasamsam bawat gunita
Na para bang tayo'y di na tatanda"

2 months more of waiting and you'll be here next to me... I don't know your name nor your gender' but I promise you, i'll make quality time with you. I long dream of playing with you, share classic jokes and show you my magic tricks!

Thou I can't promise that you will have a wealthy lifestyle... I'll shall fill the space with love no other person can give you...

Just promise me you'll be good ayt!?

Tatay is patiently waiting... ü

Between doing the right things and doing things right'

It just another regular jeepney ride from Letre to Monument... No ones talking to each other, staring far away as if they no inside the vehicle while others are in a hurry.

Then suddenly, a woman step in to the jeepney carrying a child sucking her breast. She gave all the passenger a white envelop with a note written on it saying...

"Magandang Umaga po

Ako po ay isang Badjao na humihingi ng tulong

Maraming Salamat po"

I recall a friend of mine being with her on the same situation. She from an NGO and told me not to tolerate such act. for they might not leave the street as long as there are people who give alms of the like.

I get her point that the government must create an effort to help the get off their poor situation. but how about the conscience that bugs you that very moment.

... i don't know either! 

Food trip via South Luzon

Travelin back again down south' and what I miss the most is the food!!!

Sumang yapos - a rice cake overlaid with banana leaf and tied together by a plastic straw. Dipped in a syrup to awaken thy sweet tooth... best acompanied with a black coffee...

Next is... Beef Adobo with hard boiled egg wrapper in a banana leaf' One of Philippines original dish... fresh tomato is a must for this mouth watering meal...

Solid south...

Eat, Pray, Love... Travellin!!!

My AI first assignment

After almost 3 to 4 hours of working around AI... i was able to finish my first assignment (dude.ai)... i still have problems using AI pen tool but thanks to Di for some tips on how to maximize and tricks i could use... now i'm working on my long term project, its me very own caricature... hope this comes out well...  

I create some doodling yesterday to warm up...

Thats domo and... hmmm! me... i think so... hehehehe!!! basig line and shape drawing...

I'm waiting for Di to get online so that she can give me my next assingment... :)

     

AI journal...

Its my second day studying Ai... and i'm having a difficult time' Yesterday, i stated familiarizing with commands and getting to know the tool capabilities... I think Ai, is a combination of Auto CADD, Flash and Photoshop... and its more on vector images (as per Di)... I tried to do the first exercise in Di's Ai manual... It's titled drawing with shapes and line tools...I need to as Di a couple of question before I was able to finish the said exercise...

  

(Drawing with Shapes and Line Tools)

Thou not so perfect but not so bad for a beginner... Now, I'm trying to draw caricature traced from my picture... thou it's too early for me to do it (and its at the later part of the manual), I'm having a hard time using AI's pen tool... not like Photoshop's pen tool, It can easily be bend in between nodes... We any way, I just need to practice more so that I can use both Photoshop and AI for caricature and vector images...

     

Childhood. More fun in the Philippines.

This picture was taken last year (01.23.11) before my black brother left the country to work at Dubai... Location is Toy Kingdom at SM Megamall... We stroll the mall without a concrete plan for the day... We just hand out, walk around, eat all you can at Dad's... and take some pictures... It's his first year to date and need one year more before he can come home' I miss that guy... :) 

     

Streetfoods. More fun in the Philippines

chow... :)