Cold Water'

It's ok to do what you want... they say... as long as it makes you happy!!! That's an effin sayings...
On the other hand' its hard p do thing that's against your will...
After reading all those messages, I thougt Im ok... yet not!!!
Effin people tells you thing like a walkin dictionary of life experience... Feed you shits assuming that all of peoples life are in pattern.
I pretend to be happy in front of people and act like a clown giving them smile in their faces hoping to take aways a little of their sadness... not knowing that everytime I do that, Their woes adds up to mine...
What the f^@< am I saying...

Putang ina!!! habang sinussulat ko tong blog na to... may dumaan matandang babae at hinawakan ang etuts ko sabay sigaw ng "weeee!!!"

Effin town this is' Im in a town where I first set foot only yesterday. Oh yeah! its holiday and Im working far away from the comfortof my home...
I miss my bed, badly! I'll be going hone tonight. I think I'll ve home at around 9 pm. Repack my bag, head tothe airport at around 3:00 am to catch the flight to Palawan.
Yeah! that's right... More work!!! with no time to fix my ass... and plenty of time to think, reflect and ask my self how stupid I am.
My life is a mess. Stapled and covered with colorful wallpapers to fix it and make it look nice.
I think I'll commit suicide... I'll hang my self tonight or maybe bleed my self to death... yeah right!
I have no one to talk to... or maybe I distrust everyone... I don't know! Im kinda lost...
Because of not having someone to talk to' I think Im kinda sick. When I alone doing nothing or something, taking a bath, or day dreaming. I curse my self, say bad work or scream with no sound. It just happen' Losing my self with liquor or entering vietual reality thru DOTA is the best escape.
I always wonder what will happen when I die!? will the world be a little less miserable!? All I know that my mother will be very sad'
I do have mistakes in life but I will never regret it. For what I am today are the result of my actions.
Thanks blogspot' your like a comfort room... giving comfort and not talking'

Bucket List for 2012

Before 2012 started... I created a list of things i want to accomplish within the year within my mind. Well it's the 3rd quarter of the year and theirs a lot of changes in my life. Some of the items in my list might be accomplish and some may not.

Some of the things I want to accomplish is to have a good abs at lease, but as of the moment. I can't manage my drinking and eating habit especially when Im in the field. I also assumed that I be gettin married by November but it will be imposible for the year but in exchange, i'll be having my first born by September (so excited!).

In the fourth quarter of the year. I'll be able to do my dream tour. It will be in Ilocos and Banawe. The first is in process while the other is not that sure yet.

Im writting this that to remind me what for me to expect till the end of the year and also to write my bucket list for 2013 on new year day.

Everlasting

Everytime I work on field and stay at San Juan. I never fail to take a bite of this old one peso sized bread with coconut meat sweetened and placed in the middle. They called it everlasting, it was taken from a flower usually stitched like a necklace and hanged to a Sto. Niño. A must try for a food hunter.ü

Batangas

Activity #3

As I ws preparing to take a bath. A paper with a hand drawn woman and a young boy (probably a mother and child) took my attention. I read the writtings onthe top left and it says "activity #3". I think it's my nephews' assingment in one of his subject about personal development.

The paper work is about him and his mom. They've been separated when he was sent to Manila a copule of years ago where he will continue his studies.

He had written in his activity how much he misses his mom, thou they have chance talking over phone, still he was'nt able to tell her how much he loves her.

Its kinda good to know that children find outlet to express their inner thouts thru simple school activities. Putting their second parents, their teacher in posotion to give them proper guidance.

Certified

Becoming

"Tapos na ang paghihintay nandito ka na't
Oras ay naiinip magdahan-dahan
Sinasamsam bawat gunita
Na para bang tayo'y di na tatanda"

2 months more of waiting and you'll be here next to me... I don't know your name nor your gender' but I promise you, i'll make quality time with you. I long dream of playing with you, share classic jokes and show you my magic tricks!

Thou I can't promise that you will have a wealthy lifestyle... I'll shall fill the space with love no other person can give you...

Just promise me you'll be good ayt!?

Tatay is patiently waiting... ü